What a Shame, Indeed (Ciel Phantomhive x Reader
by halloiamnorge
Summary: Just a little over dramatic Reader x Ciel fanfic for you guys. Kuroshitsuji belongs to Yana Toboso and you belong to yourself.


The Phantomhive manor had been your home for the past two years now, since you were ten years old. Your life up until two years ago was something you hoped you never had to live again, for as long as you lived. Though the Earl Phantomhive had taken you in off the streets, you didn't exactly feel welcomed by him. The others, Tanaka, Baldroy, Finni, Mey-Rin, and Sebastian all seemed to enjoy your company, but the Young Master did not seem to favor your presence as much. He seemed to always stare at you, and he always had that frown on his face that looked to you like a scowl of disapproval, when in actuality, it was more of a poker face, hiding something from you that he hoped you didn't know for a long time.

Two years ago, when you were just a lowly, homeless child, a carriage had rolled up in front of the alley of which you had found a shelter, in a wood crate with a torn piece of cloth as a blanket. That was the last time you would ever see that crate again, because a tall man, dressed in a black suit approached you and asked if you would like to stay in a bigger house, with food and water. You were a child, and obviously you wanted so dearly to live in a house instead of an old crate, but you declined, not knowing if this man was legitimate, or if he was trying to kidnap you.

"I see," said the tall man, who simply turned and opened the door to the carriage, where a young boy, around your age, sat, and soon stepped out onto the cobblestone of the alley. He had a bandage over his right eye, with painful looking scars on his face and neck, but he was dressed like a nobleman, in a dark blue overcoat, and the same color shorts, with knee high socks and a pair of shiny, black dress shoes that only the nobles wore.

The young man had approached you and had held out his hand to take yours, and you shyly placed your hand atop his and he knelt on one knee and kissed it. "My name is Ciel Phantomhive, miss. I have come here in search of a person to help around my estate, along with four others who are already currently working there. Would you be interested?" He had stood up straight already, still holding your hand gently in his, his cerulean eye calmly staring into your (e/c) eyes. You figured it was safe, since there were other people who would be in the same situation as you, who you would be working with.

When you had arrived at the estate, you were amazed to find four people waiting in front of the steps. Two blonde men, a red headed girl, and a small old man. All these people had little characteristics about them that had caught your eye. One of the men, the oldest blonde, had a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth. The other man, a few years younger than the first, wore a big straw hat that rested on the back of his neck, the strings tied to keep the hat secure to his neck. The girl wore big glasses, and probably had the worst eyesight. And the little old man wore a monacle and laughed a lot, and always seemed to be drinking tea and checking the tea stalks for some reason.

They all greeted you warmly, and you felt relieved that these were nice people, not like people you usually met out on the street, usually drunks or other crazy homeless people. They all introduced themselves, the oldest blonde was Baldroy, the chef. The other blonde was Finni, the gardener. The red haired girl with the glasses was Mey-Rin, the maid. And the old man with the monocle was named Tanaka. They had all arrived a few days before you, and the young master, as Ciel was addressed, had sent Sebastian, the tall man you now know as his butler, to find them.

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder, it belonged to Sebastian. He spoke softly with a small smile on his face, "I think I should be getting Miss _ up to her room. Is that alright, master?" he turned his attention to Ciel, who was frowning.

"Actually, I think I should bring her up to her room, if you don't mind," Ciel spoke, his tone was a bit harsh.

Yes, you remembered that day perfectly well, you remembered the dresses that were in the closet, the shoes and socks, everything you never had before. Ciel had led you to your room with your right arm hooked around his left. Your room was where all the servants' rooms were, though Ciel had mentioned an empty room upstairs, but the room downstairs was to your liking. There was a bed with a comfortable matress, with fresh sheets and almost periwinkle blue covers and a white pillow. The room wasn't really that big, but it was enough for you. You had looked in the closet a few minutes after Ciel had opened the door and you had gotten a look around at everything.

"Th-Thank you, my lord. I've never dreamed of a better way to live," you had looked over at him smiling, and you thought you had seen a small smile on his lips as well, of course, now Ciel never smiled, or just barely.

"There is no need to thank me, miss _. You may get dressed if you'd like, I believe Sebastian will be serving dinner soon."

"Yes, sir, dinner is almost ready, in fact, the main entree just needs a few more garnishments," Sebastian had appeared out of what seemed like no where.

Ciel nodded at his butler,"Good," he then turned his attention back to you, "I guess I will leave you be, _." And with that, he backed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

It's weird, you still remember what you wore that night. You had went into the closet and had found a nice (F/c) dress, with three peticoats. It stopped just at your ankle. You were thin, so the dress was a little big on you, but you managed to pull it off nicely. You wore white knee high stockings and a pair of grey flats, very simple, but you thought you looked pretty enough. To know your place, you put on the apron that was to be part of your work uniform, you were to help clean and cook when Sebastian wasn't around, since Baldroy wasn't the best at cooking, and Mey-Rin was very clumsy, as you learned in two years of living there.

Now, you are twelve years old, and you are wearing a knee high grey dress, white knee high stockings, and grey flats, similar to the flats you wore your first night of living at the manor. Along with that, you wore a tattered, faded green apron over the dress, making you look like exactly what you were: the help. The maid. Nothing special.

These days, you never dined with the Earl, and tonight he was growing a little worried. He never really paid any mind to the fact that you didn't dine with him until now, and what was worse, Elizabeth was over.

There were footsteps on the big staircase as a clumsy Mey-Rin stumbled down, holding a bucket of cleaning supplies. Hurried steps came behind her, someone was running down the stairs toward the fallen maid, helping Mey-Rin stand, and gathering all the supplies and putting it back in the bucket. It was you, _.

Baldroy rushed up to see what had happened, and, as expected, Ciel, Elizabeth, and Sebastian were standing there watching, having walked out to see what had cause the commotion. Ciel felt his heart skip a beat when he saw you, it had been about a month or two since he had even seen you, since he was so busy with the Jack the Ripper case. Finni was outside in the garden still, and Tanaka was probably somewhere sleeping or getting tea.

"I'm terribly sorry, master, I didn't mean to trip, no I did not!" Mey-Rin blurted out in a hurry, curtsying quickly during her small panic attack, and you bowed to the young master and his fiancee without saying a word before dashing off to put the cleaning supplies away. Baldroy helped Mey-Rin, or to put it as it was, carried her downstairs so she could go to bed. It was late, and the Earl and Elizabeth were actually having a late dinner, that was supposed to be 'romantic' according to Elizabeth.

Ciel watched sadly as you ran off, wishing you would stop ignoring him for once, but then again, why exactly did he care if you were ignoring him? He was so confused at this point and thought it was best if he just went to bed, though he couldn't because he had to finish his dinner with Elizabeth, and so they went back into the dining room to resume eating.

Later that night, after everyone, or almost everyone had gone to bed, you were awake, sitting at a small desk in the corner of the room, reading a book you had gotten from your master as a gift two years ago, about a week after your arrival. Sebastian had taught you how to read and write, and basically taught you how to clean and cook as well, so you knew what you were doing at the manor as you worked. You had read this book about a dozen times, and it was quite boring, but it was the only thing you could do when you couldn't sleep.

There was a faint knocking on your door, and at this hour in the night, you thought it would have been Sebastian, so you got up from your desk and opened the door, but who stood before you wasn't Sebastian. It was your master, Ciel, who had a very serious look on his face.

Your eyes widened at the fact that Ciel would even come to your door at this hour, and out of fear of what he might do to you, you quickly shut the door, but not before he started to say something that sounded like, "_, we need to ta-" and then he was cut off by the door. He knocked again and you neglected to open the door, but what you did do was sit on the floor on your side of the door, leaning against it as your back slid down the wood until you were sitting with your knees against your chest. You heard a similar noise, sliding on the door, and realized it was Ciel, he was sitting on the other side of the door, in the basement, resting his head against the wood and listened for you, making sure you were there, before starting to talk. "_, listen to me, please. I don't like the fact that you are ignoring me... I don't want you to hate me for no reason... Did I do something to upset you...?"

A small sigh was heard through the door coming from your lips as you muttered something under your breath, "There is nothing wrong, my lord, just go back to bed..."

"_, I am not as stupid as you may think I am... Open this door, right now, that's an order." Ciel was starting to sound impatient with your stubbornness.

Finally, you stood, turned the knob, and opened the door slowly, revealing your master, standing with a stern expression that slowly turned to... Happiness? His eyes were shining a bit, and he looked a little more relaxed when he saw your face. He took a step forward into your room, and you took into mind that he was still in his everyday wear, he had been working late.

All you could do was just look down at the floor, the wall, anywhere but at him when he spoke again, "Is there a specific reason why you're ignoring me, _? You've been acting strange during the rare moments you've been around me, Sebastian's been acting like he knows something... And, indeed, he did know something... He...

"He told me you fancied me."

Those words hit you hard in the chest, like a carriage had run over you. How had Sebastian known? You thought to yourself, What is he, some sort of psychic?

You couldn't speak, nor could you really breathe. You knew what he'd respond with if you'd asked if he returned your feelings, you figured it would be something along the lines of, 'Of course I don't, you filthy mongrel,' or maybe something like, 'I am not in love with you, you are a servant, and I am a noble, besides, I'm already engaged to Elizabeth. I hope you understand, our love just is not meant to be.' Oh, how it almost brought tears to your eyes, but you held back, holding what little dignity you had left close to you so you wouldn't look like even more of a fool than you already were.

All you did was nod, and mutter under your breath, "I apologize, young master, please forgive my emotions... I know you'd never be able to love someone like... Me..."

And, at your words, Ciel himself actually felt a twinge of pain in his icy chest. Does she really think that? Doesn't she know? Can't she read facial expressions? Auras? Dammit, why doesn't she understand?!

"_, I-"

"No, save it, I... I just... I need to go..." You cut him off and sighed after speaking, not wanting to hear what else he had to say. You reached under your bed and pulled out a leather satchel, holding two plain dresses, a pair of extra stockings, a pair of boots, and slung it over your shoulder. Without hesitation, you pushed your way passed Ciel and out into the long corridor of the basement, before his hand caught hold of your sleeve and tugged you back effortlessly into his open arms, holding you to his chest as those arms closed around you in an embrace.

He whispered, "I'm not letting you leave me... Not just yet..." his hushed voice held a caring tone to it, his breath warm against your cheek and ear, the words he spoke making you feel a mix of emotions that caused some tears to bubble up in your eyes. He cared about you. He didn't want you to run away. He wanted to keep the stupid girl that felt loving emotions for him. Finally, the tears overflowed and ran down your cheeks, seeping into his jacket and shirt as you collapsed into him, crying, with your hands clutching the fabric of his jacket sleeves that were firmly, yet gently, wrapped around you, one of his hands running through your hair in a comforting motion with his forehead pressed against the top of your head, his lips placing small kisses atop your hair and whispering sweet nothings. You and him never mentioned it that night, but you both knew you loved each other.

Pretty soon, you'd cried yourself to sleep in his arms, and Ciel, being the gentleman he was, picked you up bridal-style, easily and carried you over to your bed, laying you down and taking your shoes and stockings off, as well as removing the satchel from your shoulder. He then continued to pull the bed covers up over you, and sat on the side of the bed, watching, before he, too, found himself laying next to you, under the covers, with you in his arms, both of you sleeping.

And, Sebastian, all the while, was watching from the doorway, smirking.

"Why, my young master, after all these months, you finally found your soul mate. What a shame... That flame of love may dwindle soon enough," and with that, the lanterns all throughout the manor went out, and all the doors and windows were shut and locked, not a peep to be heard throughout the night.

"What a shame, indeed." 


End file.
